Epic Text Adventure 0.5 Beta

Colin:
You have wasted some water. Welcome to the Staircase Cave! You can tell what it's call by the sign by a torch. On the ground is a box of matches. To the south you can hear water running, and there is a spiral staircase going up and down in the middle of the room. There is a sleeping tour guide on the floor.

Kaxi:
You have acquired a pistol. It has 4 bullets of the normal variety. On the dead man's body is a wallet containing 25 coins and a small box of ammunition. There is also an empty bottle of booze and 2 pieces of Fried Chicken.

Spoiler:

:: Take the ammunition.

:: Load the pistol to its max.

:: Take inventory on the exact munitions.

:: Take the wallet with the 25 coins.

:: Take the empty bottle.

:: Take the 2 pieces of fried chicken.

:: Crouch on the opposite side of the box in respect to the door.

:: Check to see if the box opens.

Sneak up behind Thug>

Use Snap Neck Execution>

Loot corpse>

Kaxi:
The pistol automatically loads itself, this is a text adventure. Check the first post to see your inventory. You pick up the empty bottle and the chicken wings. The box is definately empty. There is a door behind the dead man.

Threadnaught:
The thug doesn't have anything but a measly coin in his pocket. The businessman runs off. Maybe you should have tried a more gentler approach?

Colin took the torch and the matches. Before going anywhere, he walked up to the sleeping man and round housed kicked him in the face.

Nevar! I must maintain my Chaotic Evil allignment by the only means I know how>

Flips off wall>

Enter Police Station>

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

:: Equip the Pistol.

:: Go to the Door.

:: Open the door slowly, Pistol aimed forward with the opening.

C:\\AWDesignRoom\Forumotion\Interactive_Fiction\Epic_Text_Adventure_05_Beta\Join.exe
>Execute

Colin:
You kick the tourguide in the face. In response, he kicks you in the nuts and decides NOT to give you a hint on escaping. The nothern exit is now sealed. Good luck!

Threadnaught:
The police woman at the counter looks up and asks you if you need something. The only exit is back into the city.

Kaxi:
You are now in the cargo hold of a ship. There is another person here, he has a sword. There is a puffball sleeping on a cannon. There is an open crate. There is a stairwell back to the main deck.

Ether:
Welcome! You awaken in forest. The trees around you are scorched. There is a dead body at your feet. You can go in any of the four cardinal directions. In your inventory there is a Bronze Sword and a Wooden Shield.

>Sheathe Bronze Sword and Wooden Shield
>Loot Dead Body
>Pocket all Loot
>Climb Tree
>Scout Area

After recovering from the dreaded kick, Colin headed to the running water and filled his canteen.

>look in crate

Spoiler:

:: Talk to the man with the sword, keeping good distance from him in case he decides to charge.

"Hello. Who are you?"

"I saw a mur-da">
"A BusinessMan snapped a defenceless Thug's Neck">
"He ran off when he saw me">
"When doing it he seemed to be screaming for help">
"He may believe he witnessed me killing the victim, since he believed he was under attack">

Use Persuade on Police Officer>

Try to read her name>

Without looking like I'm looking at her boobs>

Ether:
You don't have that equipped.
There were 25 coins on the dead body, they are now in your pocket.
The tree collapses under your weight halfway up. It /was/ scorched after all. You take 0.5 Damage.

Colin:
The River is on the other side of some floating rocks over a bottomless pit. Don't ask how they're floating or how the pit is bottomless. Do not examine the rocks. You can go south across the rocks or north to the entrance.

Ephraim:
Finally someone looks in that crate. I mean, threadnaught could have survived longer if he'd opened it. Inside is a can of hair removal spray and a bomb.

Kaxi initiates a conversation with Ephraim.

Kaxi wrote:

"Hello. Who are you?"

Threadnaught:
PERVERT! She catches you examining her breasts and immediately has you handcuffed. The next thing you know you wake up in a jail cell. There is a guard staring evilly at you. There is a river outside of the jail cell. You can also see some floating rocks.

Ok, now Colin couldn't resist this strange geological impossiblity. He hopped acrossed the stones and headed south.

>Yell "Fine" at the DM.
>Equip Bronze Sword and Wooden Shield.
>Check to see what color hair I have.
>Check to see what kind of hair I have. [Emodoo please.]
>Sheathe Wooden Sword.
>Check to see what clothes I'm wearing.
>Cough.
>Sit down and think about all possibilities.
>Nod to no one in particular, and
>Head South, by South, by South.

Colin:
You arrive at a river. On the other side of the river is a jail cell with a guard outside of it glaring at the person inside.

Ether:
The DM laughs at your pathetic comeback. He gives you what you asked for and as you fumble with the wooden equipment, you cut your thumb. Nothing serious, won't cause any damage. You have brown hair. It's in the basic hairstyle. Don't like it, find a hairstylist! You're wearing a basic clothing outfit, like everyone else. You have no reason to cough. When you sit down, you stumble upon another 5 coins! Lucky you! You the nod furiously for no reason, making yourself so dizzy that when you think you go south, you're actually going east.

You're still in the forest, but the trees here aren't burned. There is a pair of eyes staring at you from a bush.

"Hello, Sir?" Colin asked out to the guard.

>Flip off the GM
>Yell "I WAS JOKING, DON'T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY"
>Cower in Fear
>Climb Trees

Colin:
The guard waves at you but continues to stare at his prisoner.

Ether:
You can see a village a bit to the north. The hand of the GM appears in the air above you, smiting the tree you're on. You fall and take a point of damage. Maybe you shouldn't flip him off?

>Yell at the GM jokingly.
>Pull out sword
>Stab the eyes watching me.

"Gah!...Don't scare me like that," replied Ephraim. "I thought everyone on the boat was dead...my name is Ephraim. Who are you?" Ephraim looked in the box. "...Hair removal spray? Really? Okay, then."

>get spray
>get bomb

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

:: Nod to Ephraim.

"Well, I'm Kaxi. I'm glad to be alive, and I'm glad that there's someone else alive, too. Also, I don't like that puffball there."

:: Think for a moment.

"If that thing decides to awaken and charge us, try using that Hair Removal Spray."

:: Facing the puffball with pistol aimed at it, move toward the access to the main deck.

:: Examine the rest of the room while moving, peripherals keeping track on the puffball.

Colin took out his axe and examined it.

> Pick Up Wooden Quiver

> Go West to the Oasis

Moon the Guard>

Flip off the GM>

Ether:
Stabbing the Eyes causes a wolf to Jump out at you! Battle Start!

GM Kai Hitaro wrote:

Rules of Engagement:
1) You cannot Flee from Battle unless you have an item that allows you to do so.
2) You will always attack first if you post before I update. Combat will continue even if you don't post, but the enemy will attack first.
3) The winner gets to loot the other person's body (PvP only, maximum 3 items).

Quote :

Wild Wolf

The Wolf attacks you.... Your shield blocks his attack.

Ephraim:
You have acquired Hair Spray and a Bomb. You also found a packet of matches taped to the bottom of the Hair Spray! Cool! You are in a conversation with Kaxi.

Kaxi:
As you back towards the staircase, you can see that the door is shut. It might be locked. You are still in a conversation with Ephraim.

Colin:
The rocks you just jumped across must be made of some kind of metal, because your axe starts floating the moment you pull it out. Soon it hits the ceiling and is out of your reach. The prisoner is now mooning the guard.

Rebel:
You are now at an Oasis. The desert stretches out in all four cardinal directions.

Threadnaught:
You didn't expect the guard was gay, did you? Well, he is. He goes into the cage, drugs you up and does unspeakable things to you. You awaken still in the cage but with less Max HP. That's what Rape does to ya'. And for flipping me off again... A rock falls from the ceiling onto your head. You die. You spawn in the same jail cell.

At first Colin was going to beat the crap out of the mooning prisioner, but couldn't since the guard got to him first. Instead, Colin decieded to let lose on the guard for raping the prisoner. "That was soooo wrong!" Colin yelled as he was beating the sh*t out of the guard.

> Rests for a while at the oasis

> Heads further West

>Attack Wolf
>Inspect his movements to know when to block

Colin:
The guard notices that you're weaponless and draws a longsword, impaling it into your gut as you struggle. You wake up near death and in the Jail Cell. The bleeding stopped while you were unconscious.

Azriel:
You are now in the middle of the desert. It is hot out. To your east is an Oasis. North, South and West are just more desert.

Ether:
The Wolf lunges and again you block. In case you couldn't tell, the wolf only deals 0.5 damage, and since that's protected by your shield, he'll never be able to hurt you.

Quote :

Wild Wolf

Colin, deciding to cheat, just walked out of the cell and walked across the rock. "What now!" He said to the DM.

>Hack and speed up the fight, attacking, blocking, and cutting the wolf's head off.
>Skin the wolf.
>Proceed towards village.

Colin:
Think you're threadnaught, eh? Suddenly a ravenous swarm of ants bursts from thin air, devours you alive and vanishes as suddenly as they appear. You spawn in the same cavern over the bottomless pit with no rock below you. You die a second time then spawn in the jail cell. NOW STAY THERE.

Ether:
All cheaters will be punished. The wolf attacks again and manages to break your shield while scoring a random critical. You take a whole point of damage from the wolf's attack. You have reached critical health, your attacks cannot be blocked but you cannot dodge.

Quote :

Wild Wolf

>Throw wolf to ground.
>Say: "Can't be blocked, huh?"
>Rape Wolf.
>Yell at DM: "You're Next!"

Ether:
The Wolf Doesn't take lightly to this so he turns around and bites your head off.
GAME OVER

Well.. It would be if I wasn't an evil son-of-a-stepbitch, but I am so I think I'll spawn you again. In the middle of a Jail Cell! You can see two other prisoners with you. There is an angry guard outside the cell.

>Tell other prisoners: "Don't drop the soap."
>Walk over to Angry Guard.
>Whisper erotically to Angry Guard: "Barbecue sauce all over my body~"
>Walk away so he can't hit me.
>Start singing in Japanese.

Ether:
Japanese is an unknown language to this Adventure. Please wait for us to finish all programming. This is only a Beta you know. The guard just happens to have a bottle of Barbeque sauce and the same fate that befell Threadnaught befalls you as well. -1 Max HP. Choose your words carefully next time, gullible!

>Escape North.

Ether:
You manage to make it accross the floating rocks right as the guard pulls the switch that smashes them into the ceiling. He curses and lowers the switch so they return to normal. To your North is another room. To your south is the floating rocks and the jail cell. You cannot go East or West.

>Go North
>Re-Equip Clothes

:: Try the door to the deck.

Ether:
Those are always equipped. They aren't even an item.
You find yourself in a room. It's rather dark. You can hear someone whimpering in a corner. You can feel a draft from both above and below you, as well as behind you.
Exits - Up, Down, South

Kaxi:
The door is Locked. There is no way out without the key. The puffball starts to wake up from its rest. You and Ephraim better think of something quick!

"I really don't know what kind of threat this could possibly stand. Even so, it's probably safest to get rid of it," I say.

>spray puffball

With the hair removal spray.

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

:: Walk back over to Ephraim.

:: Aim gun at puffball in case the hair removal spray doesn't work.

"Do you have any matches or something that can create sparks?"

>Deliberate on whether or not to follow the whimpering sounds.
>Follow them cautiously, grabbing anything nearby that can act as a weapon.

Ephraim:
The Puffball screams in pain and the hair on its body bursts into flames. Wow, violent reaction to chemicals. When the flames recede, you can see a key that used to be the sucker's spine.

Kaxi:
There is no puffball to aim at. You have asked Ephraim a question.

Ether:
There is nothing to grab, since Colin took the torch. And if he hadn't died he might still have it too. Maybe if you went back you could find his body...?

"Ew...do I really have to carry that thing's spine?" Ephraim looked closer at the spray can. "Oh look, there's a convenient box of matches taped to the bottom of the can. Odd. Hair removal kills whatever that thing was, now there are convenient items in places..."

>get key
>unlock door?

>Go back to find body.